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I want to write a book called What I Believe But Cannot Say.
It would contain all the things I believe, but can’t say because they’re too politically incorrect.
You know what I’m talking about. Take your single friend who really wants to meet someone, but is perennially confused why s/he is still single. It’s obvious to you and it’s obvious to everyone — maybe they’re too picky. Maybe they dress like a Victorian hobo. But you can’t say anything.
I actually sent a text message to 10,000 people asking them some things THEY believe but cannot say.
“What I Believe But Cannot Say” (text responses from IWT readers):
“Too many people assume monogamy is the only option.”
“Having a sex partner for the sole purpose of getting better at sex is okay.”
“Women who want to dominate their men cannot truly be happy.”
“People saying they don’t have time to do XYZ are really saying they don’t care enough to make time.”
“In relationships, almost invariably, one person is more in love than the other. I’ve been on both sides. It’s rare to find two people who are both at the exact same level of love, commitment, whatever.”
Personally, I LOVE this topic. Here are some other kernels of truth I want to write about one day:
Why 90% of Redditors believe they have social anxiety…but they really don’t
Why your future kids will dump you in an old-folks’ home
Why your metabolism is not the reason you’re overweight (give me a fucking break)
Why your “sleep problem” is really too much caffeine and laptops
Why it would be better to apply 1 book than read 20
That last one is a big shout-out to all the people who have been reading blog post after blog post for 5+ years…yet do nothing!
I would rather read — and apply — 1 book than sit comfortably by a fireplace and read 20. In fact, you’ll notice that some people use “I need to learn more” as an excuse to not take action.
Next time somebody tells you they’re learning a lot (about diet/exercise/dating/money/whatever) ask yourself two questions:
Has this person implemented anything they learned 6 months ago?
Is there an obvious next step they’re avoiding — because learning feels safer?
This is like my friend who understands all the differences between Paleo and Atkins and Whole30…but is still overweight.
“I’m learning a lot” is like a social shield for smart people. It lets you SEEM to be progressing. After all, who could look down on learning? Learning is amazing!
But learning and changing are two different things. If we’re not careful, “learning” becomes endless avoidance of the work in front of us.
That’s why I loved a recent interview with John Paul DeJoria (the billionaire owner of Paul Mitchell hair products and Petron Premium Tequila.)
My favorite part is when the interviewer asks: “So, John, how did you learn to be a successful entrepreneur?”
John’s response:
“I don’t think it’s learning how to be a successful entrepreneur. I think it’s being able to DO something and know you have the ability to do it. The human race — all of you — have the ability to do 10x – 15x more than you’re doing right now.”
YES!
First, imagine the indignation of your friend — who complains about his “crazy week” on Facebook — after you tell him he’s capable of 10x more. Please email me when you do this.
Second, notice how John could’ve listed a bunch of business books. Or that Teddy Roosevelt quote everyone says. But he didn’t. Instead he told the truth: entrepreneurship is about demanding more of yourself. Not mind-mapping. Not some new customer retention tool. Sheer hard work over thousands of hours.
You can’t get this interview publicly yet. Luckily, my mentor (Jay Abraham) got permission for us to listen early. I think it’ll be the most eye-opening hour of your week.
Listen at 3:42.
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-Ramit
P.S. Just for fun: What do YOU believe that you cannot say? Leave a comment and tell me.
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