Jamón y jabón, computerized career counseling, firstname.lastname@example.org, Sandwich does the Boogie Oogie, skating to college, Checkin’ Out!, Angus Young-brand smelling salts.
Tagged with “adam lisagor” (18)
Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy with your family for generations.
Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. Instead, we commissioned the handy YLNT Voter’s Guide you’ll find below. We recommend you print it onto waterproof paper, fold it into a tiny square, and hide it in your mouth as you enter the voting booth.
Welcome to the You Look Nice Today Scat Immersion Program.
No dogs, babies, or squares allowed.
As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need.
So, YES: we will sell, lend, or lease you a built-to-purpose condition along with its appropriate consolation.
But, NO: we’re absolutely not Santa Claus. So, get real, you big fakers.
In any case. Get well soon, and here’s that brief bedside visit from the late Sargent Shriver you never actually requested.
Welcome to the global premiere of the International You Look Nice Today Conference & Expo!
Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea ideations and tactical tactics to be held in the beautiful Los Altos Community Centre, December 2nd 2012!
Join old colleagues and make new friends in an immersive networking environment of blue-sky solutioneering and overcoats! Experience a wide-ranging offering of keynotes, panels, breakouts, Birds-of-a-Feathers, and receptionettes that will lavish you with a literal bag of pro-active informational materials that you can cuddle with…today!
Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us:
• Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. • No sighing in the doughnut line. • Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes. • Uncle Blackman’s Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is closed for renovation until further notice. • Keep a sharp eye out for “Hidden Deppies” • Climbing on the Leon Uris shelf is strictly prohibited. • No insie-outsies on “Lockout World.” • Only children under 42 inches in height are permitted to romp in Erma’s Cherry Bowl—and each child MUST be accompanied by a non tripping-balls parent. • SORRY! After June 7, 1998, Arlo’s “Shuck Bux” will no longer be honored. • Thank you in advance for not discussing disused aspect ratios. • Cut line early on rides you like. Lines are for babies. • The Sacristy is not there for making-out. Sacristy only likes you as a friend—and not actually all that much to be honest. • PLEASE don’t slam your locker door. • Q*bert ALWAYS hits on “16.” You may double-down on aces and Robotron. • The Parade will NOT stop in the event you are injured by a Moog. • SHAME on you. Seriously.
Summer’s is right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear!
First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, and—yes—packed.
Sushi DMV, pupu platter, Tuna Corn Mayonnaise, kiwanis roll, the Andrew Jackson with extra hickory, two types of foreigner, $50 squid, lobster drag, dinner theater, is it vegetarian if she throws it away, Tevas, “My mussel’s name is Sandy,” ma, the jute chewers, churn for a living, Andie MacDowell and a Sofia Mini.
NoJackets You’re gonna love itâthe guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.” OK, here it comes. Shhhh! No wait, that’s not it. Almost there, just
Page 1 of 2Older