President Obama may have been the victim of the most hilarious assassination attempt of all time. James Dobson is stepping down from everything other than being a douchebag. One of our most annoying celebrities may live forever thanks to cryonics. Bishop Richard Williamson says sorry for upsetting people with his idiocy. Pastor Fred Phelps can’t go to England. And the state of Main tries to steal a copy of the Declaration of Independence that was rightfully stolen by our former British overlords. Join us as we discuss these topics and more on this week’s historic show.