Please call Flürgen. TO: Paul Polman, CEO Unilever PLC London, United Kingdom Dear Mr. Polman, I hope you can help me. You are in charge of a massive, multinational food and detergent company. So I understand that you are a very busy man. My problem,
Tags / lonelysandwich
Tagged with “lonelysandwich”
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Morning Glory | You Look Nice Today
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Make a Given Wish | You Look Nice Today
As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need.
So, YES: we will sell, lend, or lease you a built-to-purpose condition along with its appropriate consolation.
But, NO: we’re absolutely not Santa Claus. So, get real, you big fakers.
In any case. Get well soon, and here’s that brief bedside visit from the late Sargent Shriver you never actually requested.
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Nickelpuss | You Look Nice Today
Pins 1930’s wandering troubadour Trinket Pills (? - 1939) scored a brief hit on the Wichita charts with his plaintive Ballad of Joey Nickelpuss: Th’ evil alley boys taunted him, But ole’ Young Joe made his way. Terrible
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Who Voted? | You Look Nice Today
Booth Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. Instead, we commissioned the handy YLNT Voter’s Guide you’ll find below. We recommend
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Adam Ruins Everything | You Look Nice Today
Brach Listen. It’s actually very simple. When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program⢔ you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income. Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends,
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Druthers, CA | You Look Nice Today
Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us:
• Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward. • DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would cover. • No sighing in the doughnut line. • Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes. • Uncle Blackman’s Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is closed for renovation until further notice. • Keep a sharp eye out for “Hidden Deppies” • Climbing on the Leon Uris shelf is strictly prohibited. • No insie-outsies on “Lockout World.” • Only children under 42 inches in height are permitted to romp in Erma’s Cherry Bowl—and each child MUST be accompanied by a non tripping-balls parent. • SORRY! After June 7, 1998, Arlo’s “Shuck Bux” will no longer be honored. • Thank you in advance for not discussing disused aspect ratios. • Cut line early on rides you like. Lines are for babies. • The Sacristy is not there for making-out. Sacristy only likes you as a friend—and not actually all that much to be honest. • PLEASE don’t slam your locker door. • Q*bert ALWAYS hits on “16.” You may double-down on aces and Robotron. • The Parade will NOT stop in the event you are injured by a Moog. • SHAME on you. Seriously.
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Dare I Say, Kubrick? - The Talk Show - Mule Radio Syndicate
Tagged with gruber apple ios6 icloud film adam lisagor lonelysandwich
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The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today
Summer’s is right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear!
First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, pressed, steamed, folded, blocked, shanty-towned, gathered, pinned, stapled, re-steamed, cobblered, new-jacked, and—yes—packed.
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Breakin’ In | You Look Nice Today
Breakin While under the influence of y, we reveal that Merlin once put x in an envelope. Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention away from his own -(x). Adam = 2x. If y = “tequila,” solve for x.
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Lobster Farm | You Look Nice Today
Sushi DMV, pupu platter, Tuna Corn Mayonnaise, kiwanis roll, the Andrew Jackson with extra hickory, two types of foreigner, $50 squid, lobster drag, dinner theater, is it vegetarian if she throws it away, Tevas, “My mussel’s name is Sandy,” ma, the jute chewers, churn for a living, Andie MacDowell and a Sofia Mini.
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