merlinmann / hotdogsladies

I’m Merlin, and I make my living at sea, catching wild dolphin fish and tracking the elusive “Savant Crabs of the Farallones.” My ship, “The Mrs. Olsen” is based out of Panama and runs on diesel and unconditional positive regard.

I’m just shy of seven feet tall, and I eat pert near my own weight in baitfish by 10 each morning. My teeth are made of fool’s gold but my eye patch was sewn from General Tito’s baby blanket. Legend is I once killed a man—just because I needed a really good cry.

I do know I’m pretty good at Robotron, french kissing, and skimming ladies’ fashion magazines. I drink scotch whiskey, and I shit scotch tape. I’m an excellent driver and I just finished the rest of your cheeseburger while you were fucking around with your cellphone.

This land is my land from California to the New York island, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you pitch in for gas and never call me “Copernicus.” But you knew that.

Let’s do this thing.

There are two people in merlinmann’s collective.

Huffduffed (721) activity chart

  1. Remembering Robin Williams

    Comedian Marc Maron is tackling the most complex philosophical question of our day - WTF? He’ll get to the bottom of it with help from comedian friends, celebrity guests and the voices in his own head. You loved him on Morning Sedition. You kinda liked him on The Marc Maron Show. You tolerated him on Break Room Live. Now, embrace him on a show from which he cannot be fired - WTF with Marc Maron.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  2. Roderick on the Line, Ep. 120: “The Frog Leg King”

    The Problem: John got into a fisticuffs in front of the Toyota dealership.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  3. 12: Don’t Call Me

    Tiffany Arment joins Moisés to talk about wedding photography. Whether suffering the basement of a church or guests determined to make it look like prom in 1982, make sure at all times to ignore Uncle Morty. Photo credit: some guy named Marco.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  4. Roderick on the Line, Ep. 119: “A Cocaine Economy”

    The Problem: John knows this house is BUILT of pot.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  5. The Incomparable - It’s All BBC to Me

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  6. Roderick on the Line - Ep. 118: “The Articulated Hose King”

    The Problem: John rejects the Vindication Lottery.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  7. Episode #14 – Bratz The Flop House

    Episode #14 – BratzWe squander our newfound viral success by spending this episode talking about the movie Bratz. Meanwhile, Stuart solves an unsolvable math problem, Dan lauds the film’s convention-defying use of time, and Elliott gives the youth a lesson about teetotaling.

    0:00 – 0:34 – Introduction and theme.

    0:35 – 2:19 – A noble attempt at professionalism crashes and burns almost immediately. Also, we explain our mission statement.

    2:20 – 40:37 – We giggle like grade-school girls over the Bratz movie.

    40:38 – 43:34 – Final judgements.

    43:35 – 54:38 – The sad bastards recommend.

    54:39 – 57:37 – Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.


    Press the play button above to listen to this episodeDownload Mp3

    Paste into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes of The Flop House delivered to you directly, as they’re released.

    Wikpedia synopsis of Bratz.

    Tags: Bratz, Dan McCoy, Elliott Kalan, Gawker, Stuart Wellington

    April 21st, 2008


    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  8. Roderick on the Line - Ep. 117: “Put on the Carrot Hat”

    The Problem: John’s Siri just speaks to him in Welsh.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  9. 5by5 | Tech Douchebags #13: The Non-Conversationalist

    Scott Willsey shares his long-standing issues interacting with people online, misinterpreting the tone of text-based communication, his disdain of inefficient conversational niceties, and the pressure of fitting into the culture of an online community.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

  10. A Slight Burglary: Glengarry Glen Ross

    Merlin Mann and Dan Benjamin talk about Glengarry Glen Ross.

    —Huffduffed by merlinmann

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